Upon introspection...

This weekend I attended an Akhand Paath Ceremony. I have been a little disillusioned lately with life in general and last Friday I was down in the ditches. It has been starting since the past week. The work schedule is practically nothing. All the projects I was working on have been closed or I have been asked to wind up.

There have been lot of meeting and presentations by top notch vendors in the industry, lot of free food and free stuff. But something isn’t feeling right to me.. My supervisor, is ignoring me… I mean.. I was sent away on a tour, when the Big Boss was coming over.. could it be because they did not want my voice to be heard?? Could there be any other reasons?...

welcome to the world of professionalism!.. ha ha.. Okay.

time is valuable. i just want to feel useful..for the time spent.. I also need to get something done. Its been one month and I feel I am simply squandering time resource here.. just to walk up in the office each day and do nothing.. drink coffee.. sit at the pc.. browse on it.. look up some system.. seems like a royal waste to me… attend meetings… feel dumb and steupid… ppl if they need my help in something… being refused / assigned some office boy jobs… feeling even more stupid..

Things need to change!.. this is not how I will take it. ... Okay, I think its time to make some noise. Which I am going to make.. and soon.

To top it all my fee waivers have been revoked!.. misery amplification… no matter how much I try to save up.. I have nothing left in the end.. there was this very interesting thought.. that somhow stuck in my head, the fundamental that our guru’s coached us… the fundamental of tith . ... Do you set aside a 10^th portion of your income each month for human causes.. seva.. donation?? …

When I first started getting some finances of my own.. I did have this generous thought.. but those time my tith money used to be about 10 rs… these days. My tith money.. if I am truly honest.. is 60$ a week.. but my expenses, total to about 50$ a week… so high, I reason..that I am barely able to make ends meet.. I have my reasons and sound justifications for not tithing.. I don’t want my money to go into the personal pocket of some oily rich krah prasaad eating jathedaar! Or some political propagandist!!!

I want my khoon paseene ki kamai to help feed the needy and the hungry… in the langar, or clothe some one.. that is where I would be wiling to donate. Yesterday, at this Akandpaath, I was telling you at the begining… there was this “Sant Babaji”… they were from some famous place n name.. which really dosen’t matter to me.. their talk and all was mighty impressive, the bottom line was sales.. at a point he felt like a salesman to me…a religious marketeer... pls pardon my blasphemeous musings.. but that was the bottom line.. they had a jatha.. they had built gurudawara’s .. now they were set on building schools.. babaji is aged and have been touring the US since the last 32 yrs… and .. they wanted the donations.. to build schools… hey, I am not criticizing.. or anything.. we can look at this.. if we want to get something done..its a good just cause.. and we don’t have all the financial resources.. we need a banker right?.. so we sell our ideas to others.. those who are impressed with that thought can be persuaded to back us?.. it can be in any thing right.. think of college.. a few ppl have this idea that.. they are not in a mood to attend the class.. Reason could vary from boredom.. to the teacher being not a good communicator.. or the subject being tedious.. or mood na hona.. and what do we do.. we talk to the fellow classmates. And try to rub on the similar thoughts.. ki chaad yaar.. bahut laa layeeaan classaan ajj nahi laani.. teacher is also requested sometimes… ki pls… ajj rehn do sir/ maam… ajj mood nahi ae.. yaar.. we go maas cut.. bunk.. he he…. Fun fun!.. by the way.. while we were at college.. we also discussed the possibilities of starting our own enterprise... joint ownership company.. which never came to anything but ideal discussions at the time we were searching for jobs.. at the end of final year.. but.. may be now that all of us are more experienced and knowledgeable... may be i will rope up the fellows to know how they feel about that...

So everyone has been a salesman at somepoint or the other… we sell ideas… somewhere, some ideas reap profits and become exemplary ... ideas rule the world!... would you care to share any of ur ideas?.. and may be we can discuss how we can make it profitable?... its an idea too.. ;-)

I was surprised… at the idea of medical tourism.. what the heck is that?? Was my first query.. my informer said.. its 1 million $ business now.. with a potential of rising to a billion… I just mean to stress… is the ideas.. and the concept… and the application.. that is the name of the game.. if you have an idea write it down.. sometimes our ideas could be as silly and dumb.. but there is always someone who has the capacity and the skill to get it cashed.. it may not be us..but someone we know… seek those folks to get them encashed, and ofcourse its hard work.. but then.. it could be your baby project… one more thing… why do we have the set stereotype thinging…. Get somethinking done.. out of the box.. each one of us some brilliant thoughts and ideas.. but we lack the drive and spirit to get it into action… it feels like its gonna take too much effort…

I know there have been 3 ideas jumping in this writing of mine.. but. I don’t know… one of these days I might go back to India.. cuz that is the place where there is lot of potential.. from my limited understanding…the ppl from the south don’t settle down in this country.. they come here get education.. go back and start their own businesses.. why can’t we… ? hey its not that I want to go back or anything.. to me.. my personal choice is family first… where ever they are or they want to be.. but that does not prevent me from being objective… and rational… why are the Punjabi folks so set up in the stereotypes… why not change ourselves and our thinking.. we are farmers.. have you met farmers in the US.. .they are smart educated MBA’s they are businessmen.. here… why are .. you folks selling all ther assets at home to settle in a country that can never be your own… cuz heart of hearts.. you know.. you are an Indian and a punjabi… be mobile.. be entrepreneurial… don’t slave off your life at someone else’s beck and call.. have you ever put in that many hours at work while you were in India.. here you make do with less than 3 hours of sleep!.. to get the work done… oh.. we blame on the system… power failure.. and all that … but I will say one thing… “Where there is a will, There is a way”…. Criticism is always easy… koi effort nahi lagta…but just think for a while, instead of slaving your whole life in another country, where even if you die.. they want you to make arrangements for your funeral before you die..… it was pathetic watching this advertisement from a funeral home.. A while back there was a news of this couple dying of pneumonia.. cuz they were old and not able to pay for the power bill and they had no heating in their house for a week... the kids live some place away... the old coupIe have no one to get them grossaries.. I been on the buses.. I seen folks at walmart.. its really pathetic.. these folks are hardworking, very independent folks.. but they are aged... in their 80's... I felt pity,.. our elders are so well cared for... but then again i also have witnessed.. grandpa's and grand ma's being assigned the roles of aayah's of the kids.. baby sitters... or care takers of such big mansions in India... being fed at the mercy of the servants.. and having their throats split... ludhiana had so many cases..to boast off.... why cant we adopt all the good things from this sytem.. be better ourselves.. and reject the not so good ones.. why do we want to copy the fads.. and waste so much time on stuff.. I will agree i am in a wierd mood... I am being revolutionary... I am no one to pass judgement.. but I will not do that to my parents or my elders... havent they done enough.. reared us taken care of us.. made food for us... catered to our whims and wishes... its a shame... and pathetic...but getting parents as caretakers for the kids is very pathetic... pls just think... what ever goes forth comes back... so I would like to make everyone aware.. that we do have to pay all our loans and debts in this life time...so be cautiously aware of what we are subjecting to the others... and also be aware.. that there is a responsibility to our parents... don't get too stuck in superficial monetary worlds.. yeh sab to moh maaya ka janjaal hai..that is so temporary and seasonal.. as fashion..fads… have you ever noticed, .. the impression of scerenity and grace in a makeup free face… have you ever witnessed the noor on the face of a saint.. I can tell you I have… and I have seen some so called “babe”.. sangat coming from all over for their word.. and the babe di beebi.. running an oriflamme di franchise… what a disillusion!.. these occourances.. make me lol!.. and disgust me thoroughly.. and .. well.. I am not against religion or anything… I am just more spiritual than religious.. it just so happens that I am familiar to my religion from birth.. just that.. and since it’s the most recent version of all the religions.. it’s the most updated version to follow as well.. its relatively bug free.. unless we try to make it so.. it’s the most flexible by far and out.

Main v kal di katha di tarah “got carried away ho gayee”.. waada ghaate bull chukk maaf karni.. sarbat de kaaraj raas karne.. saare

Bolo “Sat Nam!”

Waise kal .. ek bahut wadeeya gall suni.. keha gaya ki kadi.. thori seva v parwaan ho jaandi ae.. te kadi bahuti di v sunvaaee nahi hundee”.. I was able to relate it to the efforts and results.. sometimes.. I get credits for something I didn’t slave on.. and get no credit for somethings. That I have been working deligently on..for months.. .. and I can think of so many other similies as well…

.. Anyways.. everything in this world tends to attain a balance… all the reactions will proceed till equilibrium, ice cream mix has to be balanced for a good product.. all the flavor and inclusions included… the emotions needs to be balanced.. nature’s imbalances causes misery.. so the operative word for this writing should be balance…