Can you believe it...

Can you believe it.. I have been spamming my own blog!... its pathetic.. For those who read my blogs regularly will find that of late I have been using this word very generously all over.

I apologize, but I have a very limited vocabulary. I did try to cram up the GRE word list at some point of time in my life, but that was loooong ago and I didn’t really have much success in that arena. Just so you know. What ever extra complex-complicated words I had managed to retain till the exam was over, got trashed out due to neglect and misuse from my side.

I did want to write and express myself better, however I don’t feel comfortable pouring out everything here, and then there is so much to pour and with the rich observations and opinions I have. I get hard to concentrate and focus on a single topic at hand. I am an idea hopper. Some times I get these brilliant ideas n thought waves, and get this overpowering feeling to scribble something and come out with a masterpiece. In midway, I change directions and start thinking of other things, totally loosing track of original ideas.

Just now I felt that I should not be selfish in what I write.. (which is nothing but I me myself and my thoughts, how I feel.. blah blah..) I should focus on things outside of my poor uninteresting life or atleast make efforts to make it interesting..lol..Okay, for one thing I need to improve upon the irritating dot dot dot that to me feels like as if my brain is processing some thought to be put down here in an understandable format. It’s just an irritating thought gap, and I feel that I should try to express myself better and present you all with some better writings in the future.

The key concern is that I really don’t have much to say at this point, anyways I don’t have anything interesting to talk about either. I am not an avid sports fan or interested in politics or weather. So what can I write about?

I want to post something, and the easiest thing that I find is cut copy n paste some info, and spam my own blog.

I haven’t been reading really good articles lately but I have found that I have improved a little in my professional email communications. However, my vocal-verbal communication and understanding skills are still quite challenged at this point of time. I can’t talk with vendors as naturally as conversation comes to some of my fellow colleagues. I have to experience some really embarrassing silences where I am busy searching my brain to come up with the correct inoffensive phraseology.I don't have anything to contribute in any conversation. Sometimes the conversation topics run into areas like pets and I can think of nothing but how I got bitten by mamaji dog "moti" when I was 6 years old and got smotherd by cats when I was 26yrs old. But I am learning and practice makes a person perfect. Till date I have literally massacred a few names verbally and in writing. Totally screwed up a key meeting; even though I had been thorough in my homework, I could not communicate my brilliant ideas. For some reason I think my proff is pissed off at me;( I have very highily developed sixth sense and power of intuition; I don't boast on this, but what i predict usually comes true and has completely pissed off a few ppl, who thought I was being a "know-it-all", so I am still in the process of learning to stop myself from gushing, and I get impatient..Now!..I will blame my mercurial disposition to the stars) and to make matters worse I have not been able to put in as much time as I should in on the res software as I said I would. I was thinking how I am going to look after I went back. To make matters worse, what will I be going back to? This is heaven compared to that hell. All this has had me worried and thinking and evaluating me against my performance. I find that there is a lot that I could be doing and have not been doing, I need additional motivation and support from all of you to help me go on. Please remain in touch no matter how busy you all are or how occupied with the tasks.

Keep the connection and communication open.

Can you believe it.. I have hit half century with this entry in my blog!..