Great minds at work??..

This post is dedicated to all the researchers in the world!.. I would not wish to touch about the tedious experimenting or the researching areas but… when it all comes to the sitting down and compilation of all that thesis work.

I am a worrier by nature, so I have been told.. Ok granted!.. but I like to be prepared a bit and I hate last minute surprises.. and would really like to have some contingency plans to deal with those kind of situations.

The most important part in any research is the literature review, I would recommend everyone to do their homework and background study well in advance. Following my own advice I embarked upon this herculean task! .. last December.. the day was 25^th.. I was all alone.. no roommates.. no phone calls.. no nothing.. blissful peace at last.. and that is when I sort of made myself stick to this carpet for 2 weeks.. and spread all my research paraphernalia all over the place and was able to build up this rough draft for the literature review.. I was miserable, indeed… instead of being in Niagara falls or Las Vegas or Disney world.. I was in a self imposed Jail… enjoying non stop inflow of caffeine and plagiarizing away the stuff and then rephrasing it..

.. I am so glad I did it then… now I just have to modify and build up on the skeleton… as need arises.. and make few additions..

As a helpful note to typing the references.. try using endnote software.. it solves a major chunk of the reference typing pain.. and takes care of the format as well.

BTW.. I am supposed to use Latex to prepare my manuscript… which is gonna be one more task.. but being comfortable with word.. I plan to get things sorted out in word and then plan to ccp it.

I feel like eating a cookie.. it’s almost 4 am.. why am I awake??.. I am going to start reading the MWSHFerrari!!.. Now.. till I drop..

Catch ya later..

.... what do I write about?..

Today has been a busy day... I cleaned up my clutter at the lab, arranged my notes on my office desk.. usually.. in my Einstinean mode.. it becomes a random chaos, which makes no sense to anyone but my self.. so today I tidied up my desk, my lab, stored away my sample.. trashed the junk.... so why this strange feeling.. could it be nostalgia.. hitting me from an unknown corner.. .. uh uh.. i say.. and shoo away this thought!... I watered my beloved money plant at my desk.. who will water it.. while I am gone??.. In all this taking care of the major things..I forgot to take care of the lil titbits..
On a very surprised note, my professor said me farewell and do good.. for a second I was.. stunned!.. and then recoved enought to accept this pleasant surprise... he wanted to say somthing more.. but.. seeing my head lights go on..for an instant..must have stopped himself short.

I needed a few things so had to make an essential last minute trip to Wally word.. (pamela's pet word for walmart).. on the way back.. for the first time in all this while.. I felt like I am leaving.. is it nostalgia?.. I mean has that thing set in.. already.. but I am coming back in 3 months.. I should be just happy to leave.. as I always wanted... but then why these feelings?..
I really don't have anything else to write today.. may be something later..

Idaho geographic special...

......A place that was Moscow..

1) Hill top view of UI Campus
2,3,4.. on the way from Moscow, ID to Pullman,WA



















A lil nostalgic mood has set in.... here are a few of the pictures taken...these pics don't do justice.. but ..have a look... click on the pics and enlarge for better resolution..

Ps.. I could not work on my laptop today...fridays are set for system scan..I never realized zone alarm would take me 5 hours to run the virus scan alone...frustrating!... the sytem has been very slow.. well hope the chekup did some good, even though..I could not get any progress done..But tomorrow is another day..
My Shopping plans have been cruelly dashed cuz of last minute changes.. my roomate has gone to Dallas for the weekend and I am thinking of burying myself with endnote and start packing the books and some other stuff.

This place has failed to build in any significant memories..for me so far.. but i guess once I am away..I would miss it too.. so you should expect some TTU pics some time soon.. :)

Go Vandals!...

Go Vandals!

I found these beautiful pics of UI campus, so felt like displaying it here. Moscow,ID was a beautiful place!.. wonder if ever I will ever get back to that place.
Yesterday, my landlady from moscow called me up in the morning and we had a bit of tete'a'tete. It has been a while since I have felt these nostalgic emotions... but the breathtaking views are still firmy implanted in my mind. Hope to go back may be just for once and relive the memory. .. I will look up some more pics to post soon.
This was the first place where I experienced, as if sky was just within reach!.. :-) The stars and the moon appear so near and the sky is so clear in the night!.. Its a star gazer's dream come true. Star gazing with an unexperienced eye, on one of my walks from library to home at 2 am in the night... I almost hit a lamp post, and on another occasion.. nearly fell off the cliff .. but could never take my eyes of the sky.. may be its the latitude effect.. but this place is up in the hills, the pollution free air and clear skies. A must see!
In those times I often used to wonder on the way home in my lonely walks..." I don't know how I finished my studies home, but here there has not been a single day where I did not have somthing trying to keep me awake beyond the wee hours of the night!"... there were even days without a wink!.. thankfully I have only 5 to mention so far... sometimes in those days I used to say "only if i had studied so much while I was home" I would have become a topper or somthing.. haha..
well this attempt at self glorification is not worth its mention...cuz I am not the only one... there are still those poor souls who work even harder than me and have to make do with only 3 hrs of sleep daily...
Ps.. this was just on a contemplative thought..

Please pay your dues by June 30th

I have been politely reminded to pay my fee, for the upcoming 2 semesters that I won't be on campus ...will not be taking any classes.. but still have been billed...Why do I need to pay something close to 5000$ for not even going to school? Isn't it a bit like skinning the sheep ?? ... :-(..

Well, in order to maintain my F1 status I have to be registered full time, my assitantship is gone! and so have my fee waivers .. WoW!.. I went in a state of numbness..for a while... and today in one of my journeys in the blogger world ... I landed on someone's blog, in a similar situation after their trip to homeland, and .. the guy had some purty ideas to make ends meet... advertising .. ha ha.. I know you have got my meaning.. but again it was his desperate choice due to fiscal deficit.. ..was seeking out better alternatives though! .. well student life is an eternal fiscal challenge.. one of friends used to joke about starting a "lota association".. any one taking pity pls contribute in that lota..College life in india was very intersting .. some of the pranks we used to play on our professors..hee hee.. [will write on that some other time].... anyways.. I hope to be able to dig out some treasure to pay for all this or knock some doors for this injustice and unfairness.. nothing drastic.. I am on a rapid countdown..and hard pressed for time.. if you know what I mean.

How much can I squeeze in a single day? my days have extended from 8:30 am to 3:50 am these days.. still not able to get to the point where I would be satisfied with my progress. I feel that writing in english made my expression a lil more sophisticated..it gives a more professional look.. what do u say?

As I mentioned earlier, that my future blogs are gonna deal with more on the objectivity ..I am in the process of doing some research on a few interesting topics, and well I think the new place will have a lot to offer.. as from now I would be wearing my objective glasses.. and a lil consciously looking out for material to talk about.

Ps. For all those ppl in the managerial and in jobs.. I found this interesting management link..http://www.management-skills-development.com/archives/P2.html ..another is a cool link to download all kinds of music.. http://www.coolgoose.com/go/music?c=10004 .
I don't know how to make an active link with just a mere word saying look here... so simply pasting it here like a novice... actually I could do some research on that and learn how to do it, but again, time limits and priorities have taken precedence over these things.

By the way this also happens to be my 30th posting... what a co incidence.. 30th June, can't you come a lil later?

Its my 29th post..

I am happy today. I got the call I was waiting for!... My drug test reports are negative. I am okay, clean, fit and fine. .. as if I had any doubts..but this is just to let you know..But still the company has to get all the paper work done. My flight is being booked :) ...yippey... but no place to stay as yet, but never mind.. something would surely work out. .. btw, I will be changing 3 flights... because Houston is flooded and I will get to see phoenix from the top and breath phoenix air. I liked Chicago air though.. and Bakersfield air is just like Punjab

Another happening thing, I had a meeting with my advisor today morning. It has been my observation that early in the morning his mood is usually pleasant ;-). .. May be its universal, after a good night's rest mind is all fresh and calm unless and until we say something that makes the mood crappy... but usually .. he is a lil embarrassed to keep me waiting.. so doesn't really torture me all that much..but now I have decided to work diligently..before I was squandering ..and not really paying attention... but now I wish to graduate soon.. I wish to deliver and fulfill all my commitments. I keep my word, no matter.. need almighty's grace and guidance to help me see this through...and get the results desired!.. Amen!

And for this impending move, my Bengali roommate, Chandrani, has been assigned the task of preparing my list, for all that I need to pack, or buy. .. one list for me, one for her Hubby darling ;-).. and guess what!..We will be going shopping this weekend!.. Hurray!.. yesterday, I took training from her to cook chicken...did you know.. a pinch of sugar is a part of every dish..but it turns out yummy..

Am I being too subjective in my blogs? yes probably... lets try an be objective in the future .. but for now.. Hello Bakersfield, I am coming July 2nd !... so this year the 4th of July will be in CA with my cousin... Amen!

Ps. I had a really interesting observation from someone's blog... how the state of happiness was influenced by a mere talk with a someone... more on that someother time...

.. PhD.. to do... or... not to do...

I am in a contemplative mood, regarding continuing for my PhD. I feel in the long run I might have to do that before I start to feel I am reaching a glass ceiling in my career. However, I wish to get a bit settled in my personal life before making that decison, and I wish to contemplate on the PhD thing as a joint decision. ..Par joint decision jis ke saath lena hai.. abhi tak woh ..hai kahan.. why absconding? ..... how long would I have to wait... at this time.. I can easily get the degree converted from MS to a PhD and.. be done in a year more.....have to talk to the advisor ...I am sure it can be done... But, I don't wish to make that decison by myself.... personaly I am tired of school, and would need all the .. go on instigation...otherwise I can't forcee..anything happening....
Chalo fir...dekhte hain... kya hota hai...

Our baanke doesn't have a place to stay...

I am back to square one... Bannke thinks... Since the day this guy here came to the US... he has been a vagabond traveler.. living out of the suitcase in a literal sense.. every 3 to 6 month has seen a move, the distance ranging from 2 minute walk to 9 hr flight.
And once again circumstances have forced our Baanke to look for a place.. out in the wide wide world... Seeking place in academic locality is lot easier and financially less draining.. but if you have to move to a place like CA on a meager allowance. You better sit down and seriously think out the means to make ends meet.

Baanke ji ke pair mein chakkar hai... ek jagah pe zyada der tik nahi pa sake.. moving is so tiresome here. aap hi theella te aap hi majdoor.. aap hi jamadaar te aap hi shaab ji. A kangaal shaabji.. :-)

Blessed is this emptiness for it will be filled. One Day!.. Saare bolo.. Aaameein!!!
Shaabaash!..

The issue at hand still cannot be ignored. I have just about 2 weeks before I have to move and as to day have been unsuccessful in finding a place to stay for 3 months. Last minute deadlines and some essential paperwork has to be taken care of.. I was so fed up and glad after having finished one paper,... but no breather for me here, another is due next week. I am not really worried on any of the tasks. Its just that its difficult sometimes to make myself sit down and work. Sitting down is easy.. but this world of www these days is becoming a serious issue with my time management team. My time managers have been taking a time off.
I want to efficient, but hardly come close. Then there are days that I stop trying and those days are worse in productivity. How to tighten the reigns on the time. I hardly recall any substantial number of days in my life where I went to bed in the night so carefree and with satisfaction that I have spent the day well. Its been a while I have even stopped thinking bout that. I would like to mention it as a state of dream consciousness. Hope to come out of this state soon.

I am too sleepy to write more..

Friendship is always a sweet responsibility

, never an opportunity... I was just reading this line from my previous blog. Upon reflection, this is so true, and to realise this one has to be a friend.
People talk of a thing called building contacts and social networking.. I don't cotton to those ideas. My friends are my friends cuz I am comfortable with them, I enjoy their friendship and hopefully they mine.. there is so much exchange of information and support not because we puposefully seek help or anything. Its just that discussions helps me to look at different perspectives at different times and well yes new ideas and different approach to solve a problem, suggestions that have no self involved. What a wonderful world to feel that there are folks out there who will be there for you, or atleat they will try their best to see you through tough times.

Things do happen all the time. its very easy to make friends but to sustain those friends, it dosen't take much... just a lil touch of humanity. Oh mere pyaare doston.... this is dedicated to you! I would like to tell you that you are always in mind. I might be busy, but never too busy for my friends.. this is my personal choice. 2 minutes time spent with friends is worth far more to me than staring hopelessly at some silly work that neither makes much sense.. nor holds any significant interest... :-) ...
Aao dosto ... ral khusheeyan manaayeeye.. :) ..dukh sukh sanjha kareeye... te sada khush raheeye ... bhaawein kuch v kyon na ho jaaye !

QUOTATIONS by Khalil Gibran..

· Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.
· Perplexity is the beginning of knowledge.
· A man can be free without being great, but no man can be great without being free.
· Rebellion without truth is like spring in a bleak, arid desert.
· Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you need.
· Art is a step from what is obvious and well-known toward what is arcane and concealed.
· The significance of a man is not in what he attains, but rather what he longs to attain.
· You may forget the one with whom you have laughed, but never the one with whom you have wept.
· Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.
· We live only to discover beauty. All else is a form of waiting.
· It is slavery to live in the mind unless it has become part of the body.
· He who has not looked on Sorrow will never see Joy.
· Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror.
· What the soul knows is often unknown to the man who has a soul. We are infinitely more than we think
· By losing your goal, you have lost your way.
· There are those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward.
· All that spirits desire, spirits attain.
· Your hearts know in silence the secrets of the days and the nights.
· If the other person injures you, you may forget the injury; but if you injure him you will always remember.
· Zeal is a volcano, the peak of which the grass of indecisiveness does not grow.
· The highest virtue here may be the least in another world.
· Life without love is like a tree without blossom and fruit.
· We are expression of earth, and of life - not separate individuals only.
· Safeguarding the rights of others is the most noble and beautiful end of a human being.
· The envious praises me unknowingly.

· And think not you can guide the course of love. For love, if it finds you worthy, shall guide your course.
· Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.
· If indeed you must be candid, be candid beautifully.
· To be able to look back upon ones life in satisfaction, is to live twice.
· Strange that we all defend our wrongs with more vigor than we do our rights.
· What difference does it make, whether you live in a big city or in a community of homes ? The real life is within.
· Life without liberty is like a body without spirit.
· If you reveal your secrets to the wind you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees.
· Coming generations will learn equality from poverty, and love from woes.
· How shall my heart be unsealed unless it be broken.
· Progress lies not in enhancing what is, but in advancing toward what will be.
· Love and doubt have never been on speaking terms.
· A true hermit goes to the wilderness to find - not to lose himself.
· Strange, the desire for certain pleasures is a part of my pain.
· Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.
· Half of what I say is meaningless; but I say it so that the other half may reach you.
· In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
· Knowledge cultivates your seeds and does not sow in you seeds.
· Faith is an oasis in the heart which will never be reached by the caravan of thinking.
· It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked, through understanding.
· Yesterday is but today's memory, tomorrow is today's dream.
· Desire is half of life, indifference is half of death.
· If you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work.
· One may not reach the dawn save by the path of the night .
· We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them.
· The optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious to the rose.
· Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
· In one drop of water are found all the secrets of all the oceans.

· In the depth of my soul there is a wordless song.
· Hell is not in torture; Hell is in an empty heart.
· Love possesses not nor will it be possessed, for love is sufficient unto love.
· You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
· Poetry is a deal of joy and pain and wonder, with a dash of the dictionary.
· You are blind and I am deaf and dumb, so let us touch hands and understand.
· Faith is a knowledge within the heart, beyond the reach of proof.
· Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.
· Lovers embrace that which is between them rather than each other.
· Knowledge is life with wings.
· If I accept the sunshine and warmth I must also accept the thunder and lightning.
· When Life does not find a singer to sing her heart she produces a philosopher to speak her mind.
· Birth and Death are the two noblest expressions of bravery.
· What is poetry? An extension of vision - and music is an extension of hearing.
· The most pitiful among men is he who turns his dreams into silver and gold.
· The real in us is silent; the acquired is talkative.
· Trust in dreams, for in them is the hidden gate to eternity.

..................xxx................................ for more ebooks : http://esnips.com/web/ebooks4u

Every line here needs serious contemplation.......
these are words of a prophet..

I am bored.. today

Lets explore the feeling of the "bored stithi" that most of us find ourselves in, and frequently.
Analysis of the bored state....
Here it goes; I start by asking a few questions first so that we can start looking at the history and the cause of this situation
1. Why do you feel bored?
... Don't have anything intersting going on..
2. What all things interest you?
... A variety of things do, but all the things that used to interest periviously, are not so charming today...
3. uh...hmmmm... Do you have something that you have not done before but may have thought about doing it sometime?
.... Well, there have been a couple of things but I am just too lazy and ...in reality just not in the mood to make any additional effort... and besides.. that I have a lot of other stuff to take care of, so much has to be done... Oh Gosh!.. I just rememeberd.. I have an assignment due on Friday. Oh! I forgot to call up Pamela....Oh shoot!... I have to send in the invoice and mail the birthday parcel to my.. lil baby sis ... she is gonna be 1 this week...see I don't even remember her dob..... and ofcourse I have to work on Comsol. ....
4. You sure seem like a busy person.. with so much on your plate; honestly you don't even have the luxury to be in a bored state... Do you really have time to be bored??
........actually, you are right... its so true.. okay I can't even have the luxury of being bored.... aah taan vehleyan de kamm ne...ha ha...

that meant I was vehli today.. my mind was empty... stressfree today........... kal di kall noo dekhan ge.. aaj kuch nahi karna...

Love story......

There was a blind girl who used to hate everyone except her Boyfriend........she always used to say that I"ll marry you if i could see !!

suddenly one day someone donated her eyes.......and then when she saw her Boyfriend......she was astonished to see that her Boyfriend was also blind........

Her boyfriend then asked...WILL YOU MARRY ME NOW ? she simply refused..........
Her Boyfriend went away saying.... JUST TAKE CARE OF MY EYES !!

paraphernalia_ unplagiarism..

not really... i am just trying to recall .. or refresh

How to Be Happy - 10 Top Tips That Really Work!


1. Know where you’re going
Happy people tend to have clear, well-defined goals. Work out where you want to be and what you need to do to get there. Ensure your goals are SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timed).

2. Know why you’re going there
Developing a sense of life purpose will also markedly increase your chances of experiencing true happiness. As well as working out where you want to get to, make sure you have a good reason for why you’re trying to go there.

3. Go with your strengths
Work out what you’re good at and find ways to do it as much as possible. Happiness is not as much about fixing your faults and overcoming your weaknesses as it is about finding ways to focus your life on and around your talents and qualities.

4. Don’t go alone
Enlist the support of family and friends. Those who have good intimate relationships and those who actively and consistently work to improve the quality of their relationships tend to be happier. So invite others to join you in your endeavours, share your experiences, and don’t forget to also support them as well.

5. Go with a positive attitude
One of the most significant, contributing factors to happiness is optimistic thinking. Although you won’t always have a choice in determining what goes on around you, you will always have a choice in determining how you think about what goes on around you. This will largely determine the extent to which you are, or aren’t, happy.

6. Ensure you have the energy to go all the way
Being happy depends at least in part on being healthy. Being healthy depends on keeping active and exercising regularly, eating an adequate and well-balanced diet, and ensuring you attain enough sleep and rest.

7. Control which way you go
Happiness can be enhanced by maximising the control you have over your life. So learn and practice skills such as problem solving and time management, meditation and communication. At the same time, however, no one has complete control and so it is also important to be realistic and to accept that over which you have no control.

8. Maintain discipline along the way
Happiness is nothing more than a few simple disciplines practiced every day while misery is a few bad habits or errors of judgement repeated every day. Although happiness might not be yours today, you can certainly start to implement the strategies you need today. Maintain focus and you’ll be happy before you know it!

9. Be present every step of the way
Happy people tend to spend more time thinking about and “being in the present” as opposed to dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Learn from your mistakes and plan to achieve, but practice living life in the moment and enjoy happiness now.

10. Go, go and keep going all the way
We all face obstacles and problems at times. Happy people expect this and adapt when necessary. All of the components outlined above are skills that can be learned. Just like any other skills, you’ll get better at utilising these strategies with practice and perseverance. Stick at it and happiness will be yours.

source: http://www.makingchanges.com.au/resources/Top%20Ten%20Tips.doc

Men are better at writing ...females better at analysing

Please don't get me wrong, I just felt like that. It is a personal observation. Men are more objective in their writings and they quote well. They deal with the objective and follow through the topic.
Females on the other hand express more on the subtle reality, tend to become more emotional in their writings. It may be more on which side of the brain the matter is pouring forth.

You may or may not agree... but just tell me how many men have written romance novels and succeeded?? And have you seen a guy reading those sorts of books... haha.. I can't imagine.

Females are more versatile, they can cast themselves in any mould... play all the roles.. and succeed...but men... ha ha ha... ??? this species is still in a state of shock.. and is struggling admist an identity crisis..in the modern role reversal.....

Hey I am not a feminist!... far from it.. it was just a general observation. Well not many men can/will boldly proclaim that they are efficient domestic managers.. while women have stormed the world.
But its an evolving world, and may be one day men and women might get equal. But thanks to the survival instincts of the species... they all are trying... America teaches them to :-) ...

hey look where i started and where i am ending... women... they have so much capability.. but it is like rabit and tortoise story.. get distracted, trying to multitask so many things.. end up in a mess.. haha.. while men stay focused longer. ... this is what i think. they have larger attention spans.

hey doc, tell me is there any scientific truth in my ramblings ??

Well... leaving all this feminist and misogynistic views aside. these things are for outside world politics etc. For successful relationships, these things are mundane..try not to get caught in the external world.. one must remember... and always keep in mind ...the reasons of being together. "keep the big picture in mind".. no tera mera..will work for long.. ..look for the right reasons, try to co-operate, understand and delegate... you wish to accopmlish things together as a team not as individuals... when 2 lives are involved communicate well all your hopes and expectations... and ask the other party the same.. and then negociate..try to seek a joint venture, that is geared towards success...not against each other....be honest, open and straightforward and polite.. try sharing your profits and successes and dividing the sorrows.... and try to be always there for each other... no matter what. in sickness, in health, in pleasure and in wealth..... communicate well, express and share your feelings... try... Give space to grow, to seek individual goals as well.. ..build and maintain trust.. trust is the bottom word.. keep it always.. and ..on n on...
I just wondered.. what would a man have to say on that subject..
I can wager... if you happen to be from mars you would be wondering what game is being aired on TV next.... or .. aeww!.. what is this all about?? .. but if you are from Venus.. you would be already visualizing hypothetical situations... haha...
Have fun both of you...
i should have split this article in 2 but was too lazy... okay.. "gotta run"... where to?..i didn't a chance to find out.... well the abruptness and the speed n urgency.. led me to wonder in only one direction.. he he.. ;-)

Rules for those unfortunates working under.....Desi and Chinkoo Advisors..

1. You have made the most dumbest decision in your life ever. You should have stood up to your peers and all the rest and have said Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
2. Okay you have done it.. now.. start preparing for it......
3. Crying / Cribbing won't help at all.
4. You are gonna be on a pittance for 2-4 yrs depending on your program length and show your eternal greatness. .. u must be kidding...right?.. sorry this is serious.
5. Try to get the objectives of the study defined... clearly point wise at the start of the research cuz if you don't do this... every new day you might find that you have a new objective till you are so frustrated with life as a whole that ......... u will settle for any number of objectives that relate to your study or not.
6. Keep looking for better opportunities.........always! ... God help's those who help themselves.
7. There is no thing known as commitment to research/ this is nothing but a manipulation device that will be used against you at every time you will be in a position for bettering your position.
8. There is no use of being frustrated... You did it on your own... learn to live with it and accept your decisions even though they may be wrong. ..
9. Find friends... who support you... and are simply willing to listen to your tale of woe.. haha.. [use this resourse when absolutly necessary]....and stop you from treading the path of self destruction. . .. you are a survivor you will get through this eventually, just a matter of time... and clock is always ticking.. rememeber that.
10. try to inspire yourself. read inspirational books.. enjoy little beauties of life.. be thankful to God for other good things in life...
11. Most Important :: Start working again and.. keep working ... see it to finish.. it will be over. .. one day.. soon.. I promise. !
12. always remember you are not alone in this... and absolutely not the first one .. and will not be the last one either. .. When others have survived.. you will too.

......... Chal bahut ho gaya..... "Let Go"...
Tell us what happened.....??

Kuch nahi... nothing unexpected... But I am graduating in Dec 2006... Am I??...
pata nahi.. hun main confused hoon. .. mujhe kuch pata nahi.. kya hone waala hai.. Well its nothing new... I am just back to square one. But in all this confusion I know one thing.... it is that...
.. kaam mukaya jaaye raaton raat... to hoeya jaaye aazaad!...

Hope this will teach all the very desperately eager aspirants to the US of A to prepare themselves well in advance. And.. don't ever be hopeful that your case might be different... cuz majority rules.. sooner or later ... truth ke darshan ho hi jaate hain.

"Truth will set you free"
and I am free now... of all my so called obligations and take off these rose colored glasses....lets just be objective in life :-)

Main Aaazaaad hoon............. I will make my own destiny now... stick with me and you will see how!

Intentional Excellence: Two words that change everything ... Let me explore how and what.. then I will get back to you with it...
Till then... rest easy.. :-) Sleep tight and have a lot of fun.

Btw.. my getting the job offer disturbed someone's peace of mind and the concerned party had indigestion and could not sleep the whole night............ imagine that.... ! .......I got that as a howler(Rowling, 1999) in my mail today morning before the meeting.

As a phoenix I am rising out of the ashes... its a new life.. I haven't lost my touch with humanity.. I have as of today so many more options to explore as well :-)

Thanks for being with me.. I really appreciate your silent support. I feel a whole lot better and better prepared mentally to face my tomorrow....

cuz... i am light... it can enlight the way and today I burn bright.. with a determination!

.. Did I win??...

I had a battle today..... :-( makes me feel so sad. I don't like this aspect of the system, this battle of wits... the games advisors and the hiring managers play with poor unsuspecting folks like me.

Whom to trust?

Well what do you get out of being honest and open and forthcoming??... I guess nothing!, but how do I change myself? It is my basic nature... what I am I am.. you expect the total truth from me if it concerns me alone. My friend Sanjeev told.. "Tum koi satyavadi harish chandar ki suputri ho?" .. I am not.. but I can't mislead someone on false pretentions... it is simply not me. .. mujhe se nahi hota yeh... and neither I want to do it ever.

So in this battle of wits.... or negociations and wicked manipulations... I stood aside as an observer.. feeling everything.. taking it all... for a while over 2 months.... and now.. I have spoken up. Spoken up for the truth... leaving all the manipulators aside.. things may or may not work in my favor now. But I have the satisfaction of doing the right thing.

I am sad and very disappointed... in people. But I have emerged stronger, I am happy with myself for doing the right thing, and sticking to my beliefs. Rest I have left it to them... made them my final offer.. take it or leave it. I can only be pushed so far... No more.

Tell me ... did I win?